2015 Journal: Keep It Real
I want to share a little something from my past. Although it is definitely cringe-worthy looking at it now, I am proud of my past self for revealing everything out in the open! Re-posting this from my old blog circa 2015.
I received little nuggets of admiration from my friends whenever they scan my last year's planner so I came up with this idea of making the pages into some sort of a visual "diary". Not even sure if all the pages are worth showing, but it does tell something about me. Notes, quotes, doodles, plate studies, stickers, left over paints (acrylic, poster, watercolor, you name it!) are to be expected. I basically shoved all that bothers, inspires and interests me here.
The best experiences in my life are the moments where I could simply be my weird bubbly self. I would wear the same set of blue polos, teal cardigan or black statement shirts almost everyday I get a chance to and I wouldn't care less as long as it gives me comfort and warmth. The moments where I would laugh, chuckle or smile out of nowhere. From time to time, I've been asked why I do that a lot, though I never had a chance to stress out the question of "why not!?" I know that someone out there need a little lift from whatever they are going through. These are just a few examples of the times I feel comfortable for not caring that much. Knowing that I've got nothing to worry about or hide enables me to be in a happier state of living. As much as I want to be open and transparent, there is a part of me that demands privacy -- thoughts, sexuality, relationships, etc. I also demand some alone time because it helps me think clearly. It's not so long ago that I caught myself standing for hours along España thinking about life, specifically mine. From how many packs of Fudgee Bar, Chunkee, or Corn Tube I ate during class to how far I have progressed in life in reaching the state of happiness or contentment (if it can ever be fully reached). Really, there are so many topics, ideas, and theories to think about. Though sometimes, it stresses me out especially when I leave myself hanging like an open-ended movie where endless possibilities are taking my mind off to places. Taking my mind off to places? The pages of my planner exactly does that, but instead of giving me stress, it relieves it. It's the reason why it's full of colors that would make my mood lighter no matter how messy or shitty it may seem to appear. Last year, I wouldn't go for a day without it. It must always be with me on the way to school. (If you might ask, I am taking up BFA Advertising Arts which will more likely explain everything) I do take down notes a lot. I do paint a lot. I do scribble a lot. I do make design concepts a lot. And there's a lot more I do which you wouldn't find out unless you read page per page the insides of my planner.
I have stumbled across people who felt vulnerable for not letting people in. I've seen a few of them build walls against unwanted criticisms or whatnots, and it's not necessarily bad. We all need space once in awhile. Although, getting used to not seeing the other side caused them trouble.
2015 was the year I discovered how great it felt to be open and transparent, that's why I challenged myself to make others see a part of me that was hidden. My goal is for you to get to know me more and I hope that by now, you were able to. At the end of the day, I just want to be honest with you. Honest in being myself in every way possible. I want you to do the same. To follow the demands of what society expects you to do or to have the courage to listen to yourself is entirely up to you. You know what you want and I want you to #KeepItReal!
♡ with love and sunshine,
